It is important to not only to have current goals during the adoption process, but to also have short-term and long-term goals that you plan to pursue after the baby is born. Planning ahead is going to help you become confident that you are making the right decision. You may be choosing adoption because it will give the child better opportunities in life. But you must also have realistic expectations and goals after the baby is born.

What goals do you hope to achieve after the baby is born? Here are a few questions to help guide your planning and set your expectations for the future:

SHORT TERM

• Do I want a supportive family member, friend, or doula during my labor and delivery?
• Do I plan to have the baby stay with me in my room, or will I have someone else care for the baby right after my delivery?
• Where am I going right after my hospital stay?
• What exactly am I expecting right after I sign relinquishment or consent forms?
• Have I made counseling arrangements after placement (with a licensed professional counselor/therapist or a LCSW)? With who, and for how long? Is the adoption agency (or attorney) covering the costs of my counseling?
• How long will I need counseling after placement?
• How do I expect to feel right after I place? *Grief after placement is a genuine experience, and your grieving process may differ from that of other women who have chosen adoption. It is important to recognize that each individual grieves in their own way and at their own pace, and you should not compare your grieving process to how other birth mothers have grieved their adoption decision.
• Will my relatives know about my decision? Why or why not?
• Will I have financial, emotional, and physical support right after placement?

LONG TERM

• What do I want to change about my life? What can I change about my life after placement?
• Do I want to stay in a relationship with, or marry, the father of the child? Why or why not?
• Do I want to go back to school (high school, college)? If so, when and where?
• Do I want to go back to work? If so, where, and is this the career I want to pursue?
• Will I go back to the residence I resided at while I was pregnant, or will I be living at a different location?
• How am I going to avoid getting pregnant in the future if I want to avoid having other children at the moment?
• If I plan on having children in the future, will I tell them about my past decision? Will they understand my decision for adoption? Do I expect them to be understanding?
• Where do I see myself in five years? Ten years? Twenty years?